This work is all about ‘Connection’
Connection, or a felt-sense of attunement to self, others, and our environment, is what provides a container for our experience in this world, as well as being a critical component in our early development for survival. As infants, we are completely dependent on others to attend to our needs. In a real sense, we would not be here if not for them.
Interestingly enough, as adults we seem to shirk this notion of relying on others in favour of an attitude of radical independence. Maturity is equated with taking total responsibility and the idea that “I can do this on my own”--this is especially the case with our mental health.
I find this sentiment to be extremely limiting, because, unlike what we might like to be true, there are many things in life that happen to us that are out of our control. Trauma is what can result from these occurrences, which significantly disrupts our ability to connect, and therefore function, effectively. A host of symptoms, both emotional (anxiety, depression, panic attacks, eruptive bouts of rage) and physical (chronic pain, dissociation, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome) can result, whose delayed onset make identifying the proper diagnoses quite challenging.
Setting out to ‘handle the situation’ on one’s own, while admirable, can lead to frustration, desperation, and burnout, as the way to treat these symptoms tend to be decidedly more complex than just ‘fixing one’s head’. The source of distress from trauma goes beyond the thinking brain and into our bodies, and it is from here that must be addressed before working the more ‘heady’-part.
The tracking of these subtle sensations can be difficult, as well as being able to put a label to them. It is a language that is more-or-less lost to us, as the majority of our attention gets placed on the workings of the mind.
Therefore, having someone alongside you who can help put a spotlight to these evasive things that bring us out of connection becomes absolutely essential.
Having gone through years of struggle with a myriad of ‘medically unexplained symptoms’, I know how maddening it can be when you are putting everything you can into your healing but getting no results. Hearing well-intentioned lines of encouraging will-power, developing a better resolve, and patience only exasperates things further.
But what if your efforts, and all your hard work, were simply misplaced? What if, even, it was suggested that you don’t have to work so hard, and that you didn’t need to hold onto this burden on your own?
If any of this resonates with you, then this website--as well as my Facebook Business page (@daveconnectincounselling)--is here to offer you additional resources to add to your tool-kit to recovery and transformation, so that you can not only get back on your feet but hit the ground running. Where that leads is up to you!