At one point in time in your life, you received the message that it wasn’t ok to be yourself. This could have been done directly, indirectly, or a combination of the two. We all have had these moments—moments of doubt, shame, inadequacy—which are felt as traumatic and painful. What leads to suffering and ongoing instability is when these experiences become so wounding that we must disconnect from these unwanted parts in ourselves in order to survive.

     

That is why safety and acceptance are such critical components that I strive to provide in therapy sessions, because I understand how challenging it can be to be vulnerable; to express oneself authentically and be truly seen by others when we have been conditioned to think and behave otherwise. Therapy thus becomes a joint commitment in recovering those lost elements, where trust and security are developed over time. The goal of therapy is not to simply be different, because that implies a reactive stance on life that is ultimately self-defeating. The goal of therapy is to dare to be you, and live it whole-heartedly.